AMphy

73. A Time to Mourn

The accident of 1990 had taken its toll on Velda. For several days she had remained on life supports, until she could breathe on her own. There was also some damage done to her spleen, which had to be removed when Velda was strong enough to undergo surgery. Velda was a ‘trooper’, and eventually she pulled through the physical injuries, yet she would never overcome the emotional anguish of losing a daughter. Velda went from a state of shock, to disbelief and grief. She had not been able to attend the wake or funeral - her denial seemed insurmountable.

Alphy and Margurita tried to console Velda. Alphy expressed that she had endured more pain than anyone should suffer in a lifetime. Velda responded that the physical pain she experienced through two major operations and other medical conditions were “nothing as compared to losing Paulette.” Margurita, too, tried to console Velda by telling her that with God’s help and time she would heal. But Velda wasn’t ready to heal just yet; she needed some time to mourn first. The rest of her loved ones had a chance to mourn together, while she had been in the hospital. Velda could not be consoled; she tried desperately to make sense of what had happened.

One thing Velda was certain - she would not forget Paulette. Her daughter’s memory constantly tugged at her heart, each hour of the day, and sometimes it would wake her during the night. Velda spoke of Paulette continuously - this was her way of dealing with her grief. She mourned in disbelief - it still didn’t seem real that Paulette was gone. Velda longed for her daughter’s gentle presence... there had not been time to say good-bye.

Alphy and Margurita tried to give Velda and Cyrus as much emotional support as they could, but they were also dealing with multiple losses — which included Alphy’s failing health.

By the early 1990's Alphy’s health had deteriorated to the point

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